I’ve been wanting to get Monster Bash up and running in my (relatively) new house so I decided to give The Plan a try.
I drilled a little hole in the joist above the main support beam so I could feed through a little steel cable from Home Depot (which claimed that it could support 841 pounds) and wrap it around the beam. Here is an expertly framed photograph of me drilling the hole, taken by my 2 1/2 year-old son:

With the rope-hoist hooked up to the cable I figured I’d give it an easy test, so I grabbed one of my summer tires from the garage and hooked it on (using another steel cable wrapped around the tire).

That was pretty straight forward. So I took out the tire and put Monster Bash in position.

Sadly, the pulleys in the hoist did not provide nearly enough mechanical advantage. Which is a nice way of saying that I wasn’t strong enough to lift it for squat. Perhaps I should seek the mechanical engineering expertise of my father (and read the Wikipedia pages I just linked to). Although an easier solution would be to just throw my brother’s back out again.
My wife officially declared the entire operation a joke. She used the words “Mickey Mouse” and “Three Stooges” several times.